My daughter is repeatedly battered and beaten by her abusive husband. She says she loves him too much to leave him or report him to the authorities. What can I do about this?
I’ve been in your shoes, and know how difficult this must be for you. It’s so hard to think that our smart, capable, beautiful daughter would CHOOSE to stay with a spouse who intentionally abuses her. She says she loves him too much to leave…my guess is that she probably fears him too much to leave.
People who are abused by their spouses often stay because leaving would be dangerous for them or the people they love and care about. Maybe he’s threatened to hurt or kill her, a pet, or even you or other family members if she ever left him. She may be financially abused, where he controls all of the money, and if she left, she’d have nothing. There are many reasons abused spouses stay, and those of us who don’t live under those conditions find it difficult to understand.
Keep the lines of communication open with her. She needs to know someone is in her corner. If she should happen to call you while he’s abusing her or you witness it firsthand, you can call her local police 911, let them know domestic violence is happening and ask them to check on her. Also, if they have children living in the home, then you can contact Child Protective Services to have them check on her and the children.
You can learn other ways to support your daughter on the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.
If you’re not already, I recommend that you talk with a therapist to process your frustration, concern and fear.
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