ADVICE: Clearing a bad reputation

“I recently did something that makes most people not trust me any more. Should I care about clearing my reputation, or should I allow them to think whatever they want about me?”

 

Photo Credit: The Importance of a Reputation Bank Account

Your reputation reflects the perceptions others have of you: your behaviors, words, work ethic, how you treat other people and how you allow others to treat you, and your integrity. These help formulate how others see you and the opinions they have about the kind of person you are. 

Building a reputation is like having a savings account.  Whenever you show good character, do what you say you will, tell the truth, do a good deed, and so on, you make deposits into that account.  If you make a minor mistake (say, telling a lie and getting caught), a withdrawal is taken from that account but will cover you most of the time.  However, when you mess up big-time, the account balance can go to zero (or below) and your reputation account is depleted.  That means you have to start again by behaving in ways where people can begin to trust and rely on you so you can rebuild relationships and replenish the account.

As for others’ opinions of you, it depends on who you respect and value. If people you don’t really care about are talking about you…let them talk. Who cares what they think? However, have you done something to change how a person you admire thinks about you? Unfortunately, you can’t control what other people think or believe. What you DO have the power to do is to change your behavior, words and integrity, and improve the way you see yourself.

If you’ve done or said something to take a bite out of your reputation, not all is lost. Now is the time to rebuild it. Say you’re sorry to anyone you have hurt or disrespected, and then promise to never to it again. Make amends for any losses other people have incurred by your actions: fix or replace items damaged or repay money you’ve borrowed, and then promise to never do it again. Behave in ways that others will respect you for. Speak in ways that uplift others. Work on the goals you’ve set for your education or career. Keep the promises you make. 

Reputations can be rebuilt after doing or saying something you wish you hadn’t. It absolutely can be done.  But it takes time, consistency, energy, and a commitment to do and be better.