ADVICE: Why do I always love too much?

“I always love too much in any relationship and sometimes I become restless for that person.  How can I control that?”

 

Photo Credit: Emotional Intelligence and You

Healthy, loving, mutually-satisfying relationships require give and take from both partners. I’m not talking about keeping score, but over time both partners feel loved, respected, and valued.

“Loving too much” is a sign of desperation and imbalance in the effort put into a relationship. 

You’re giving and giving and doing and doing with the hope that your partner will reciprocate for you. When your partner doesn’t respond, you give more and do more.  And the cycle continues.

Your restlessness is really your subconscious showing you the truth about the future of this relationship, and you’re afraid to acknowledge what that means. 

You already know deep down that you don’t have the relationship you wish you had.

How can you control it? Well, the only control you have is changing what you’re doing, because what you’re doing now isn’t getting you what you want. 

Talk with your partner and let them know how you’re feeling. If they respond by validating your feelings, apologizing and then doing all they can to make you feel loved, respected, and valued, then you have your answer and the problem is solved. 

But if they respond with anger, disrespect your feelings, and tell you you’re too sensitive or crazy, then you have a difficult decision to make.

Get connected with a therapist who will help you sort this all out, develop a strategy to manage it, boost your self-esteem, and create an appropriate plan of action.

Bottom line is...you deserve AT LEAST as much as you’re giving.