ADVICE: Learning to avoid crying

“How do I learn how not to cry?”

I get asked this question all the time, and my response is always, "Why would you want to?"

Babies cry to communicate their needs:  when they're hungry, tired, bored, in pain, or they just want to be held.  If you think about it, adults cry for the same reasons.

Crying is a necessary response to a hurt, disappointment, stress, or loss.  Regardless of the reason, you're crying because you feel something, and it's extremely important to let it all out.  It's healthy.  

We sometimes hate crying in front of others because we feel vulnerable and embarrassed.  We don't like seeing others cry because it makes us uncomfortable and feel helpless because we don't know how to help.  People shame us and call us names like "cry-baby."  Maybe someone has even told us, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

Learning how to keep from crying goes against everything that's good for you.  Pretending to be happy is fooling no one but yourself.  Crying displays the real, honest, and genuine you, which is the very best version of yourself to show the world. 

There's another huge benefit to letting the tears flow:  Did you know that in addition to salt and water, tears contain the stress hormones that build up when we're angry, afraid, or upset?  Crying is the fastest and most efficient way to rid your body of these toxins.

So let those tears flow freely.

If you need emotional support during a difficult time, connect with a therapist--where you'll find no judgment, an endless supply of Kleenex, and learn to get more comfortable with expressing your feelings.

And you have my permission to tell anyone who calls you a "cry-baby" to go pound salt.